Yes, you read the title right!
No, it isn't talking about me!
Yes, I do know a little bit about it and I want your feedback about what you are about to read if you continue.
Walking down the street I get the sense of the magnitude from where I came from and where I find myself. I'm on the street, living in my car, using the QT, Walmart, or whatever place I can find to keep myself somewhat clean.
No, I didn't grow up this way. I knew better. I wanted to be an adult. I want to make my own decisions! I wanted to be my own person and I have come to regret the drive that pushed me to be who I am today.
My parents didn't teach me to be my own man/woman. That was my decision. I walked into the world with all of my parent's warnings thinking that the world looked inviting, not scary and as evil as they had described.
I had a car until one day, while high on Meth, I drove it into a ditch and just left it there. I didn't have the money to get it out of the ditch with a tow truck and it was raining. I just called a friend to give me a ride to anywhere but where I was. I didn't really care. After all, my friends would take me where I wanted to go whenever I wanted to go. I don't need a car.
As I was walking home in the cold and rain trying to remember how I got where I was, I thought "So this is life? Nothing special! Nothing noteworthy! I get high with the help of my friends. They really look after me. I don't need God or my family."
I've called home for help for the last time. I believe that they love me but they said that they just can't help anymore.
Wish I could go home.
I wish I could look my dad in the eye and say "I'm sorry! I was wrong! Please forgive me."
He won't listen. He doesn't really care. I'm out of his life and he is better for it.
So this is adulthood?
I'll have to "borrow" some soap when I go to Walmart later this afternoon. I'll go to the soap aisle and "borrow" some of their body soap and slip into the family bathroom so no one will see me wash up. I won't use much. I'll leave it in the bathroom and they can put it back up. It's not really stealing.
I have a friend who has a tent that I can sleep in tonight.
So this is adulthood.
I don't remember this as I was growing up at home.
Did I miss something?
I wish I could go home and start over.
God, I wish I could start over.
Father, please be with those who need to come home both physically and spiritually. Give them wisdom to walk towards you. Give them the ability to be strengthened and keep them safe. In Jesus name.
