My time on earth is in its autumn years! There, I said it. Hard to believe and even harder to admit. I have another 20 years or so on this earth if I make the average. That being said, I have looked back over the last 55 years and realize I have a lot more mistakes in my life than I care to remember, but remember them I do. It is easier to remember the mistakes than it is the things I am really proud of.
That sounds a little harsh to some, and to others easy to imagine. I am thankful for my life and the mistakes have tried to teach me things I wouldn't learn in ways that would have been less damaging, but I am not depressed or disparaged because of them. They are what has made me who I am, faults and all. Yes, I know, admit and am sorry for the past mistakes I have made. To those who might have been hurt or affected by some of my past mistakes going back 50 years or so, I am sorry. It isn't a day goes by that I am not reminded of some of the mistakes I have made (and I know God has forgiven me, but Satan continues to throw them up in my face).
However, as I look through the eyes of death, I realize that time swiftly passes and God forgives, and I have allowed myself to be a child of our heavenly Father. I have nothing to hang my head in shame about as His child, but men don't forget or forgive as easily.
So with that said let me share with you what got me on this thought. I believe that I am a very forgiving person. I have never held anything against anyone for any amount of time. I am a forgiving person. I know the need for forgiveness because of my past and when Satan reminds me of my past mistakes I am reminded of something someone said to me years ago. When Satan reminds me of my past, I try to have the faith to remind him of my future. That future is with my God. I am His child and I am no better than any other child of my Father's. I may have more mistakes and need more times of forgiveness in my eyes, but I am of the firm belief through faith that God will and has forgiven me for everything in my past. I have a God who allows me to start over every time I need to.
In saying this, I am not striving to make more mistakes to receive more grace and forgiveness, but as I feel the shame through remembering past mistakes I get to celebrate the fact that my God is bigger than my past and doesn't even remember my past as far as holding it against me.
I am truly blessed beyond measure. I am living a life better than I deserve. I love my family and my spiritual family on this earth.
May God bless you with that same understanding. It is available to all men. If you want to talk about this, just message me or give me a call. I'm here as a result of someone caring enough to share their story of forgiveness with me and my family. I am 20 or so years away from going home. Maybe sooner! I can't wait till that day comes, not because I am in a hurry, but I know that heaven is going to be so much better than here.
I'll see you there!
